Continuation: At the end of the day as much as a lot of us want to be free to explore, be adventurous, flirt and be playful – deep down we want that true mind, body and soul connection with someone. The question is how does one find it?
Take these three examples:
- Guy 1 – The Holiday Romance:
You meet at a day party whilst on holiday. There is an instant connection the moment that your eyes meet; basically you get on like a house on fire.
Each day of your holiday, you are with each other (bear in mind that whilst on holiday, the day and night feels like two separate days). You feel comfort with this guy and every time you are together you feel protected in fact you feel free with him. Those type of connections that when you hold each other or lie on each other’s chest; you feel peace. Hearts racing at the same pace – beating to the same beat. It is a connection, a mutual one.
The only thing is that he resides in another country. Sigh. Frustrating, I know!
- Guy 2 – Then you have the Possible Manipulator:
The one that walks into your life but initially you are not sure if there is an attraction there for you but he seems okay enough for you to share your contact information.
“I mean long gone are the days of being picky for no reason – how many times will your girls tell you that you need to be more open and stop blocking your blessings!”
The guy makes so much effort: daily texting, calling, offers of dates and gifts but yet you refuse to open your heart, not only because you are not sure if it’s worth it but because you are not sure if you should trust it. So you have a case were your intuition seeks for you to be careful but what isn’t clear is if it is your intuition is speaking to you or fear.
The guys presence is so strong that you are not sure if he is love bombing or if your failure to provide validation or reassurance keeps him coming back so that he can prove his worth.
Right now, I am sure you are wondering why Guy 2 has been labelled as the Manipulator. Well, the lack of validation given causes Guy 2 to use other ways, tactics or even lies to obtain the validation that they seek or in some cases conquering you. You are now seen as a greater challenge than ever before and if they are able to win you over – it’s a victory for them (visually they can now place a new medal or trophy to their mental display cabinet).
Eventually, your girls begin toask more and more questions about him as they notice his consistence. The thing is your girls aren’t in thesituation so they will just view you as being difficult or fearful – “you’re blocking those blessings, sis…getyou act together before it is too late… take that risk!”
So you start to think maybe your girls have a point. You decide to change your behaviour – be more receptive, make the effort and initiate heart to heart conversations. Validation is now given as you begin to open up more but with an element of control ensuring that you are careful not to lose your power. I mean let us be honest in today’s dating world it can be difficult to decipher from when it is just a game for the other person or an actual genuine interest.
Fast forward – as you get to know Guy 2 more; you start to notice that your downstairs (wink, wink) flutters or blushes when they get closer to you (mentally, physically and emotionally) and you find yourself wanting to speak to them more and learn more.
They haven’t caught you just yet but gradually you can start envisioning yourself with them.
- Guy 3 -The Past Lover:
The one who either ran from commitment or never initially wanted it. Why? Maybe to avoid the compromise or control of their freedom.
It may have taken some time but for the most part you have reached a good place. Basically, you have put yourself first, let go, moved on and worked on healing.
You have enjoyed your summer. The summer period is now coming to an end and you have kept a distance from the past and kept yourself open for newness and new connections.
😅 , but here the past comes crawling in. The past intuitively felt you enjoying yourself, you know having fun and moving on. Some even stalk you via social media or ask mutual friends about you in order to decode whether they are still a focus in your life. Some even uncover that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and may do anything to feel that connection again. In some cases Karma has paid them a visit! Before you know it they start to make attempts back into your life.
What does one do? In some instances, this was someone you thought was a true love – maybe even a soulmate in some cases –the one you saw yourself with – maybe even hoped to marry.
In comparison, you have uncovered that the grass is greener on the other side and you have never been happier to be free from that toxic energy you once deluded yourself as being the one. For others it’s a comfort place and even though they had let the past go they secretly manifested their return 🤨 🤫 .
Now that the summer is ending, all three want some form of exclusivity. Dolls & Gents, sis is confused because real connections have been built with all three which means sis can see herself with all three. Don’t get it wrong all three still need to work on themselves, grow and mature but don’t we all 🤷♀️.
Okay now! Dolls & gents o should sis focus on, please choose from the six options below:
Please, vote above!! Also visit Twitter @EHerConfessions to make a vote. Results will be revealed soon!Tweet
The results will be revealed soon and the next blog post will confirm the option that was actually chosen.