Through observation, watching and listening; I have realised that we tend to give those who hurt us repeatedly chance after chance after chance … I could go on 😅. On the other hand the ones who treat us with respect and adhere to our boundaries sometimes tend to fall to the wayside or to the bottom of our list.
The sincere question is “WHY?” Why do we as humans always seek validation from those who take us for granted and have us on the bottom of their list. When instead we should treat them the same or better yet cut them out by pushing them away so that they also fall to the wayside?
One would say that it is possible to have more compassion and understanding towards family members who disrespect boundaries but friendships, love situationships or just general relationships – I fail to comprehend why.
How does one practice the art of saying “NO!” or better yet teach others how best to respect those boundaries that has intricately been put into place over the years.
It has been noted through observation that sometimes being a bitch breeds more respect of those boundaries whilst being kind appears to breed familiarity and the comfort to overstep boundaries with ease.
What is it within us; biologically or psychologically that leads us to seek constant validation and recognition from those whom we find challenging?
Is it not easier to just be our most authentic selves by ensuring that our boundaries are properly respected? I mean if they fail to respect the programme then I guess that person does not necessarily need to be in our lives.
Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self – respect, values, morals and self – worth…
Now, one must understand that sometimes we do end up in situations where we unintentionally cross boundaries of those we care about, but even then it can be difficult to express your wants and needs without fear or anxiety creeping in – mainly because sometimes we just do not know how the offender will take our words.
At the end of the day , what can we really do? I say still go ahead and make those boundaries clear and direct because failure to do so could lead to resentment which could then lead to an explosion of pent up feelings – once that person crosses your personal space (whether physical,emotional or psychological) for the last time.
I guess trust is also a major factor but please dolls and gents let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.
P.s always remember that in order to be authentic one must always be active in facing their fears & this includes ensuring that your well -being is treated as a priority!